After reviewing my peers’ narratives, I refined my argument to encompass more aspects concerning the drawbacks of technology. Additionally, I delved into the challenges college students face in regulating and balancing their screen time. While I retained the core message from my initial draft, I integrated broader perspectives to fortify my argument’s persuasiveness. Stella’s narrative stood out with its distinct and coherent structure. Reflecting upon this, I aimed to render my narrative more logically sequenced and vivid.
Through the process of crafting two drafts for the literacy narrative, I’ve recognized the importance of iterative revisions. I’ve come to understand that an essay’s potency can be significantly enhanced by incorporating diverse insights gleaned from fellow students.
Laurie Ye 